


lavender and musk (let me kiss you)

by sonnesonnet



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha Choi Soobin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Crush, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Omega Huening Kai, Pining, Shy Huening Kai, Strangers to Lovers, TA Choi Soobin, beomkai are brothers, he teaches creative writing, just a gay baby in love, kai has a crush on him, step brothers but beomgyu would kill for his baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26639761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnesonnet/pseuds/sonnesonnet
Summary: Soobin isn't like most alphas he knows and Huening Kai is sort of, maybe, well, alittlebit in love with him.(But here's a thing: Soobin is a TA for his creative writing class and it's in the rules that TAs and students weren't allowed to... "have any relations.")
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 15
Kudos: 159





	lavender and musk (let me kiss you)

When Kai signed up for a creative writing class as one of his electives, he met with four surprises.

First, there were only ten students other than himself. Which was weird. Really weird. Second, there’s no professor in sight, but a TA. Third, the TA happened to be an _alpha_ (A creative writing class lead by an alpha? It’s unheard of.) and fourth and most important of all: the said TA was hot.

And he didn't mean hot in an inappropriate, sexy kind of way. No, the TA—Choi Soobin—had a sharp jaw and a lopsided smile. He smelled like lavender and musk, one of the weirdest combinations he had ever known. But his cheeks dimpled when he grinned, and his hair looked soft as sin, and his eyes were striking, and despite looking very soft and kind he managed to exude an air of control and power. When he walked into the room, all eyes snapped to his tall frame. Kai tried not to stare when Soobin leaned on his desk, flicking a pencil back and forth between his rather big fingers. He tried not to stare when Soobin stretched his legs to erase something from the whiteboard the previous teacher had left behind. He tried not to stare when Soobin cracked some stupid joke and looked around the classroom with a wide grin twisting his lips.

He failed at not staring.

Each Tuesday they were given a prompt, to be filled by that Thursday. (The class only met on those days. Two simple credits.) They had to write about _something_. The first week was to describe themselves . With honesty, and objectivity. Easier said than done, of course. Kai struggled to find anything to write about himself. He was just an omega from Daegu who hadn't gotten quite big enough of an award to be able to afford SNU. (And so ended up at his last choice on a full ride—Konkuk University. He hadn't heard of the school until they hounded him for an application after his SAT scores went through. He'd only applied on a whim. But there he was.)

But he sat down on Sunday night and held his notebook in his lap and he thought back to what he'd done as a boy back in Daegu, and to what he still did in Konkuk. He made it like a journal entry. An introductory sort of thing—My name is Huening Kai.

My name is Huening Kai, and my brother cried when I got my award letter. My name is Huening Kai and I am nineteen point two five years old. My name is Huening Kai, and my mother had a stroke when I was six months old. My name is Huening Kai and I was adopted at the age of ten. My name is Huening Kai and my Step-father is an alcoholic. My name is Huening Kai and my big brother always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grow up. When dad beat me up because I presented as an omega, my brother sent him to the hospital up and simply said, "So, when do I get to meet my in laws, hm?"

He covered it all over with black scribbles and wrote, instead, _My name is Huening Kai and I like dogs._

He listed the things he liked—Pop music, drawing, the smell of his brother's leather jacket and lavender candle, the feel of the sun on his bareback in the summer, the satisfaction of a well-earned grade, a glass of grape juice in August, the sound of his brother's car in the driveway. He also listed the things he didn't like. The scent of alcohol and the tears of children and the burn of a bruise when he tripped over his own feet and the laughter of the kids in high school who made fun of him and called him a 'freak' for being ‘different’.

And he typed it all up, and on Thursday morning before class he stopped at the computer lab to print it out on stiff white paper.

Soobin took it with the same ease he took every other paper, shooting Kai a warm grin, and Kai tried to ignore the way his gut twisted. Focused on the fact that TAs and students weren't allowed to... "have relations." Focused on the fact that Choi Soobin was a man and Kai was pretty much still a boy. Focused on _that_ extra hard: on the fact that Kai was just over nineteen and Soobin was probably around twenty-five or so. Focused on the fact that it was just a little crush.

The next week's prompt—other than daily journal entries and free-writing—was to describe a memorable event in their lives without stating explicitly how they felt. To describe the things the emotions did to them but not what the emotion was. Never to use a word like "sad," or "distressed," or "excited."

Kai wrote about his first night in the dorms. How, with his roommate not due to show up for another day, the silence pressed down against his ribcage until his throat constricted and he had to sing Troye Sivan’s songs to himself with tears burning the backs of his eyes until he grew so exhausted that he had no other choice but to succumb to unconsciousness. How he woke up at two in the morning with no idea where he was and how he wanted to scream and wanted to call his brother to come pick him up right away but instead he tore apart the room until he found the letter Beomgyu had written him when he graduated from high school. How he read that and fell asleep again curled up at the small nest he made with the lights all on and classic songs playing quietly from the tinny speakers of his cheap laptop.

He turned it in, handwritten and neat, on paper the color of grape juice. It smelled like lavender.

Things continued on like that. Once, when Soobin prompted the class to write about their mother, Kai stayed behind after class.

The alpha looked confused, but drew aside when Kai asked to speak with him. "Something wrong, kiddo?"

(Kai wouldn't ever admit it but he liked the way that nickname sounded from Soobin's mouth.)

"TA Choi," Kai stumbled a little pronouncing his name. "I don't—" He bit nervously at his plump lower lip, and looked down at the ground. "My mom died when I was a baby, so I don't think I can do this assignment."

Soobin's expression softened, and it caught Kai off guard how absolutely understanding it was. Everything about his demeanor changed— it seemed that the alpha could smell his distress but not in a bad way. Not in a "poor kid" way, just in an "I messed up" way. He smiled.

"First off," Soobin planted his hands on his hips. "Call me Soobin, like everyone else. I’m only three years older than you, no need for formalities.” he winked. (Kai's breath caught in his throat.) “Besides, I’m just here because my brother Namjoon, your professor, couldn’t help but get himself sick at the last moment. And second off," Back to the kind look. "You don't really have to write about your mother. I shouldn't have made the assignment so specific—that was my mistake. You can write about anyone you care about, whether it's an uncle or a grandmother or a brother or a friend." He briefly clasped Kai's shoulder, and pulled back before Kai could get a handle on the strong heat of his palm through the fabric of his sweatshirt. Sometimes he hated being an omega. Everything just felt too damn much.

Kai bit his lower lip again before he nodded. "Alright... S-Soobin."

Soobin grinned so that his eyes crinkled at the edges, and shooed him out of the classroom.

(Kai wrote about his big brother. They’re not related by blood, but Beomgyu had always been there from him since the start. He’s already more than blood to him.)

It continued like that, for a few weeks.

In November, it changed just a bit, because of the fast-approaching summer break.

"Alright, class." Soobin crossed his arms, legs spread wide where he stood; dominant. "Today I want you to describe a place you like from every angle you can think of. From above and below and within." His bowtie was red. "You're going to write it during class, and hand it in to me before you leave. Remember: No class on Thursday." He grinned at them all and plopped into the swivel chair at the desk in front of the room, pulling a notebook from his bag. Looked like he would be participating in the prompt—one of those teachers who wouldn't make their students do anything he didn't do, probably.

The omega stared down at the thin blue lines of his paper. Shitty paper, really. A leftover composition notebook he hadn't completely filled back when he used it for his English class. The first twenty pages had been torn out and the rest were, as a result, crinkled and coming loose from the binding. Most of his notebooks looked like that. Almost all previously used or just so cheap they might as well have been—whatever he could get his hands on, really. He sighed. (He did that a lot.)

Writing on the spot always gave him trouble. Usually, in his dorm room, while he ignored his roommate, he would sit for hours with his headphones in listening to playlists of movie soundtracks and tapping his pen against his nose, until he thought of something.

He sighed again. Scribbled a little curl in the corner of his paper before meticulously printing, "There is a black SUV that sits in front of my brother's apartment building." He smiled to himself. Beomgyu would be picking him up the next day for the break, and was going to take him back to Daegu for the entire weekend. "She belonged to our father, when she was new. But now she is my brother's, because no one trusts dad with a car and because my brother loves her. If you look from the sky, she gleams like tar. Sleek and beautiful." He nibbled on the cap of his pen. "If you look at her from the soil, her chassis is perfect and her bumpers glitter." He closed his eyes for a split second and continued as best he could, pausing every few words to get his bearings.

"But if you look at her from the inside she is perfect in a different way—she houses the childhood of two brothers. There's a little green army man jammed into the ashtray. That's my fault. But my brother went maybe a step further, and even now when he turns the heater on it rattles from the Legos he shoved into the vents." He smiled. "We carved our initials somewhere in there too, when I was little and still shorter than Beomgyu. The car smells like leather and oil and pizza, and she's pretty old, but she still runs smooth and despite her flaws she is beautiful, because she's a lot like home."

He couldn't think of anything else to write. Had a suspicion he'd done the task a little wrong anyway. Too up-front, too clear. Not the right kind of description, to his mind. But he really didn't know what else to do so he leaned his forehead on his notebook and tapped his pen against the desk, eyes closed, listening to sound of the air vents and the other students writing.

After a few seconds of that, someone tapped his shoulder.

He looked up to see his TA's concerned face. Soobin ducked low, too low that he could smell his weird but tantalizing scent again, was it bad if he wanted to drown himself in it?

"Everything alright, kiddo?" He frowned, genuinely worried.

Kai had to gather his wits about him before he could find any words to say. His face flushed with color. "Uh..." He shook his head. "No, I—" He found himself at a loss, and looked down at his notebook. "I'm fine, I think."

The alpha tilted his head, perhaps a little disbelieving, but he gave Kai a nod and a pat on the shoulder and retreated. Occasionally he stopped to help another student if they had questions, but for the most part he sat up front and continued to scribble away in his notebook. Kai stared at him for a while—at the way a few stray strands of hair fell into his face and at the way his mouth twisted while he thought. He almost got caught in his staring, but luckily managed to turn his eyes to his paper the second before Soobin looked up. (Like Soobin could sense his gaze.)

With a sigh he leaned back to his chair, trying his best to not stare at the said alpha but his effort was pretty much in vain. His warmth lingered and Kai thought this was the reason why he hated his brother’s friends so much when he was younger. All of Beomgyu’s friends used to be alphas, just like himself, and most of his interaction with them always ended up with him tucking himself away in his room. Kai didn’t like aphas. Not that they were being extremely rude or conniving, there was just something about them that made his skin crawl but Soobin was different and it frustrated him.

The class ended as it normally did, and Kai felt rather dazed having spent an hour and twenty minutes sitting in a silent room. He clamped his headphones over his ears the second he made it out the door and hunched into the chill breeze. A few early flakes of snow struggled down from the clouds. He pulled his hood up. It started to rain instead of snow, as he trudged across campus to his calculus class.

Kai immediately stripped down to his underwear when he finally got back to his dorm room. He slung his damp jeans and jacket over the back of his desk chair and snatched his pajamas off of his bed. The relief of soft, dry fabric on his cold legs was a godsend. His old, worn _Mickey Mouse_ blanket was even more of a godsend. And it smelled like his brother so it put off an extra layer of comfort for his omega’s mind.

"Hey man, you forgot your phone today." Hyunjin, his beta roommate, tossed Kai's cell to him over his shoulder, chewing on a bar of chocolate. "Your bro called like ten minutes ago."

Kai frowned at the missed call notification. "He did?" He pressed speed dial and held the phone up to his ear. It rang for a while and he thought, for a moment, that Beomgyu might not pick up. But at the last moment he heard a click and his big brother's voice.

"'Kai-ya?"

"Hyung?" Kai scooted up his bed to lean against his pillows, and tugged his blanket up over his knees like a cocoon. "Sorry I didn't answer when you called. Forgot my phone."

Beomgyu laughed on the end of the line. "Oh baby, what'll I do with you. You'll forget your shoes next."

Kai snorted. "Anyway," He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "Did you need something?"

"What, I can't call my baby brother just to hear his annoying little voice?"

"You're such a jerk." Kai grinned to himself.

Beomgyu laughed again, but quieter. He paused for a while and Kai almost asked if he was okay but Beomgyu finally said, "Seriously though, Kai-ya... I got some bad news."

Kai immediately felt like his stomach had dropped out of his ass.

"No one died!" That was a relief. "But, Kai-ya, I'm sorry—I can't get you for Summer break. Something happened with dad and..."

Kai didn't hear most of what Beomgyu said after that. All he heard was a shrill buzz of disappointment, curling in his eardrums. He rolled onto his side, turning his back to Hyunjin. "What do you mean?" He hunched his shoulders as he lay there, whimpering. "You promised. Hyung, you _promised_ we could spend summer break together." He refused to cry, but his eyes burned. He felt stupid and small and he blamed his stupid omega genes.

"I know, Kai-ya. I know. I'm sorry." Beomgyu's voice came through the speakers thin and tired. "But you know we can't afford to get you tickets, and I can't get my hands on a car at this point." He sighed.

"I know, hyung." Kai rubbed at the corner of his eye. Still no tears but he had that pain in his throat and that itchiness under his eyelids that meant the floodgates were due to open any second. He curled tighter in on himself, making himself as small as possible. "I just miss you, is all." He even sniffled. Pathetic. "Sorry."

"Hey! Hey, baby no, don't apologize." It sounded like Beomgyu was settling down in a chair or on a couch or something. Shocking, that he would be want to talk about _feelings_ , but clearly when it came to his little brother he was willing to do anything. "I know you miss me, and I miss you like hell, but you can get through this. I know you. You're a stubborn kid." He huffed out an affectionate laugh, and Kai couldn't help but smile a little at his brother's words. "Just wait for Christmas, I'll have you all to myself for a whole month, and by the end you'll be desperate to get rid of me!"

The omega laughed—just a little bit. It came out watery and thin, but it was a laugh nonetheless.

"I'll mail you something, okay?" Beomgyu yawned. "Some porn or something."

Kai whined. "You're so gross."

"Shut up, brat. You love me. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay. Jerk."

Beomgyu hung up, and Kai snapped his phone shut. He took a deep, shuddering breath. Reached out to his ratty stuffed rabbit he'd had since he was three years old (a gift from his uncle Hoseok and strangely it still smelled like him) and wrapped himself around it like a long-limbed octopus. He buried his face in its threadbare fur with a deep inhale—it smelled like lavender and home.

Hyunjin tentatively cleared his throat. "You okay, Kai?"

Kai waved his arm, and muttered, "I'll be fine."

"...Alright."

They fell into silence.

Kai spent the next day on a rather tedious trip to the grocery store with what little money he had left over from his financial aid. The dining halls (and everything else) on campus would be closed all through Thursday, Friday and Saturday, only opening up again for dinner on Sunday. So he grabbed a few boxes of microwaveable pasta and some cereal and milk, and tried not to freeze when he had to walk back to campus after missing the bus.

He wound his way along the pathways past the Humanities building. A damp piece of paper on the ground caught his eye—bright pink with black print. A few languages covered it, and Kai finally found the Korean part: "No place to go for summer break? No way to feed yourself? Call me for a place to stay and food and fun. Sincerely, Choi Soobin." He frowned at the paper. That seemed... unorthodox, at best. But he figured his TA wouldn't just throw his phone number about without a good reason. He chewed on his thumbnail, thought a bit, and finally shoved the paper into his pocket.

He rushed his way back to his room.

Stowed his milk in Hyunjin's mini-fridge, and jammed the non-refrigerated food under his bed. Then he sat down with the yellow paper clutched in one hand. He took a breath. Carefully, he dialed the number, hoping it wasn't some joke by a student or something equally awful.

Soobin picked up after three rings and chirped, "Hello, this is Choi Soobin speaking. How can I do you for?"

"Uh—" Kai couldn't believe he was doing this. "I—It's Kai. I saw... the posters?"

A surprised laugh echoed from the other side (and Kai worried he'd made a terrible mistake). "Heya, kiddo! I take it you can't go home for the break?" A rustle came from the end of the line. "I run a little sleepover for the whole weekend, for exchange students and anyone else who needs somewhere to stay." He paused. "There's only a few of us and there are also omegas here, so, if you want... Just give me your information and I'll mark you down. I'll be picking everyone up at nine tonight."

Kai nodded to himself, biting his nail. "O-Okay. Okay, that sounds good." He hoped Soobin wasn't secretly some kind of murderer, and told him which dorm he lived in. A few more quick words back and forth, and Kai found himself packing his suitcase and running back and forth through his room—his very empty room. Hyunjin had left that morning. Kai took a deep breath and sat on his bed.

His suitcase stood between his feet and he stared at his phone. It was only three in the afternoon. But now he was bored and nervous and excited all at once. He could call Beomgyu but that wouldn't last more than an hour or so. He'd packed his laptop, like the idiot he was, and really didn't want to dig it out.

He hummed to himself distractedly. Troye Sivan. Beomgyu always sang ‘Blue’ for him when he was sick, so it comforted him. He let himself sprawl out on his stomach in bed and murmured the words to himself, and closed his eyes, with his head pillowed in his arms.

His thoughts drifted, from the silence of an empty room, to the fact that he now had food he wouldn't need, to the sound of a crow through the window. They strayed, after a long half hour, to homework. A dreaded calculus assignment and a paper due for his class on English literature. No homework for Soobin's class though. Just the order to "Have fun or else!" He grinned.

Of course, that led to him thinking of his TA.

Of TA Choi's dimpled grin and animated eyebrows. The way his pinky stuck out when he wrote on the board. His gigantic hands and well-muscled arms. Thoughts of his wildly styled hair, and the cute button nose. Of how he had the slightest lisp and a sunny laugh and a weird habit of doubling over whenever he felt like it. They were not very alpha-like, though there were moments where he could be very dominating, Choi Soobin mostly let his guard down and maybe that’s what made him different from other alphas.

Kai sighed into his arm, and ran one hand back through his bangs. He'd begun to blush. Could feel it, in the heat across his face and the back of his neck and all over his body and more, the way his scent had turned even sweeter than before.

The omega couldn't stop thinking about Soobin's smile. And every other part of him. He liked his TA's smile and his dimples and his bowties and his penchant for carrying around weird little things in his dumb unicorn-colored jacket.

He allowed his mind to waver toward what it might feel like to hug Soobin. What it might feel like to kiss him.

But he shied away from that thought about as fast as he got to it, too embarrassed to really ponder it in any serious way.

Still, his brain returned to it.

What would those full lips feel like on his own? Would they be soft? Dry? Damp? What would he taste like? Chocolate and peanuts, or sugar? Maybe artificial cherry flavor, or whipped cream, or vanilla or maybe lavender and musk just like he smelled like? He was probably a good kisser too, with a lot of experience. He'd have to be. No way he hadn't been with plenty of people, with how charming he was. He probably knew how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue or something stupidly amazing and his virgin ass could never compete to that.

"Shit." The omega covered his head with his arms, shoving his face into the sheets, whining endlessly. " _Shit_." He couldn't be thinking about that. No. He was not going to fantasize about kissing his creative writing instructor, his _alpha_ creative writing instructor, or about the agility of his _tongue_. That was... Well for one thing, he was like three years older than Kai. And for another he was probably totally straight, and for another thing he was Kai's _TA_ so even if Soobin wanted to hook up they'd be breaking all sorts of rules.

Kai rolled onto his back.

Just thinking about it wouldn't be bad, would it? Fantasies never hurt anyone, except maybe the fantasizer. And it wasn't as though Soobin would know if Kai thought about wanting to kiss him and wanting to hold hands with him and wanting to be wrapped up in his arms and be pushed down on a real bed and being marked by his scent and—

"Oh God."

The omega covered his red face with his hands and squeaked.

Eventually, the clock finally clicked to nine pm, and a few minutes later Kai's phone rang. "H... hello?" He licked his lips.

"Hey there, kiddo!" Soobin sounded cheerful. "We're out in the parking lot, so just look for the red minivan!" A few voices filtered through just under his.

Kai nodded. "Alright, I'll be out in a sec."

He hung up and snatched his suitcase and practically ran down the stairs to get outside. When he got to the parking lot just beside the dorm complex he saw the van immediately. It was the color of strawberry glitter, and the sliding door hung open. Kai slipped inside, and the omega beside him pulled the door shut. She was stocky and round-faced, and introduced herself as Hitomi. Her hair was short and bleached and spiky and she smelled like fresh spring air. On Kai's other side sat a beta named Sakura with also a short hair to her nape. She was Hitomi's roommate, and they were exchange students from Hokkaido. In the passenger seat there was a beta about Kai's height—Johnny—and in the back were two upperclassmen whose parents lived in Busan: Jeno and Jaemin. Jeno was an omega while Jaemin was an alpha but they looked close with each other. Kai shook each of their hands. They all smelled nice and he hoped it could match their personalities too.

With introductions finished, Soobin cranked up the radio and pealed out of the parking lot. Conan Gray's voice filled the interior of the van. Sakura let out a little cheer and Kai grinned. He had a feeling he would enjoy this slumber party a lot more than he'd expected.

Turned out, rather than use his own apartment, Soobin had booked a three-bedroom vacation home in Icheon, that was apparently near skiing. (Not that they were going to ski. It was just advertised.) He parked out front beside a white Palisade and hopped out of the van. Before he did anything else, he circled around to the back and pulled out two boxes. Then he ran to the front and kicked the front door until someone shouted at him from inside and opened the door for him.

He beckoned the students to follow him in, as he explained, "There are three rooms with one bed each so what we're gonna do is set up these," He held up the boxes—inflatable mattresses. "In two of the rooms and you each get to share with one other person." He dropped his boxes on the floor. "Sakura and Hitomi get a room to themselves because they're girls. Names are on the doors." He scooted one boxed mattress toward the boys. "You guys can figure out who's sleeping where. Your room is across the hall from the girls." He turned to the tall blond man who had let them in. "Jun, take this mattress up to the grown-ups' room."

The one called Jun grumbled and heaved the little cardboard box up in one arm before disappearing up the stairs. Soobin returned his attention to the students. "Ground rules!" He planted his hands on his hips with a grin. "One: don't make a mess, and if you do, clean up after yourself! Two: Bed by eleven o'clock and wake up at ten. Everyone helps cook and clean." He paused, giving them all a stern look before he continued. "And three: have fun! Now get your butts to your rooms so you can figure out who's going where and all that boring stuff!" He made a shooing motion with his hands and spun on his heel to head toward the kitchen.

Kai followed Johnny to their room.

One bed was pretty large. Jeno and Johnny did a round of rock, paper, scissors for it and Johnny won, much to Kai's relief. He doubted he would fit on the inflatable bed. He tossed his suitcase down on the floor, rummaging in it for the extra sweatshirt he'd packed. He pulled it on over his sweater.

They all went about finalizing their arrangement, changing into pajamas—or in Kai's case, changing pants but not bothering to remove his other layers. (He was sensitive to the cold, dammit.) When they had all settled, a smell began to waft through the door. Jeno perked up like a dog, ventured to the doorway, and leaned out into the hall. Kai peeked out behind him. Across from them, Hitomi and Sakura peered from their own doorway—one in a nightgown and the other in Batman boxers and a t-shirt, respectively.

Downstairs, they found Soobin in the kitchen in front of the stove. He stirred a pan full of some kind of cream sauce beside a large pot of pasta. That was definitely the source of the smell. Along with something in the oven, judging by the crumpled garlic bread packaging on the counter. He looked up at them with a big grin.

"You guys are lucky I'm nice." He ducked down to check the bread through the oven's little lit up window, and hummed thoughtfully to himself. "Tomorrow you get to help make all the food, but tonight I figured you're all hungry and shy, so... I'm cooking for everyone." He shrugged, and pointed to the other room. "Go set up the table, kids."

"We're not kids!" Jaemin laughed. But he went with everyone to set out silverware and plates, while Soobin drained the pasta and mixed it up with the sauce, and dumped it into a massive ceramic mixing bowl.

Soobin wrapped his arms around the bowl and shot back, "You're all kids to me!" He hefted and carried the pasta to the table where it thudded loudly against the wood when he set it down. The oven beeped and he grumbled, stretching before retrieving the garlic bread. Kai and Hitomi helped dish out dinner to everyone in suitable amounts. Soobin set a slice of bread at the edge of each of their plates, smiling as he did so.

"If you want more of something just raise your hand to ask, or throw something at me, or whatever."

He turned away and cupped his hands to his mouth.

Then he shouted, "TAEHYUN! YEONJUN!" He took a deep breath. "DINNER!" He whirled back around and took his seat at the head of the table. Surveyed everyone. "Before you ask: he really _is_ named Yeonjun. Like, that trot singer Yeonjun." He snorted to himself. "Hippy parents, and all that." So-saying, he twirled his finger over his temple and winked as the other men entered the room.

Yeonjun—Kai assumed it was Yeonjun, because he was the one Soobin had called Jun earlier—sat down at Soobin's right and Taehyun sat directly beside him. Both were alphas but they were different from Soobin. Their scents were richer, stronger, and it made him a bit uncomfortable. Kai decided that he needed to keep his distance, just in case.

Rather than eat in total silence, Soobin told a story in between bites. About a time in his youth (his college days, more specifically) when he had gone to some foreign fair and been spat on by a llama.

It was a nice meal.

They woke right when Soobin told them they would: ten in the morning. Because Soobin put a whole BTS dischography on full blast and ran into each room shouting, "Wake up, my adult children! Wake up!" before running downstairs. Kai rolled out of bed pretty easily. He was used to waking _much_ earlier for classes, or to help Beomgyu out at the garage. Johnny, on the other hand, groaned and grumbled his way upright. Jeno and Jaemin were grumpy but quick.

When Kai wandered out into the hallway he saw the girls' door hanging open and their room standing empty. Probably already downstairs, then. He wandered into the main room. Hitomi and Sakura both sat on one of two couches, speaking in hushed whispers and watching the fireplace. Soobin could be heard in the kitchen, so Kai padded his way over to him, followed closely by Jaemin and Johnny.

Soobin greeted them with enthusiasm.

Kai was tasked with making sure the bacon didn't burn while Soobin went to fetch Yeonjun and Taehyun.

When he returned with the other men in tow, Soobin began to give everyone little tasks. Kai was to continue with the bacon. Sakura was in charge of toast. Hitomi and Jaemin made batter for scones, while Jeno made the eggs and Johnny set the table. Soobin wove his way through the kitchen every few minutes to make sure everything moved smoothly and without accident. Yeonjun and Taehyun tended to the fire, speaking to each other in hushed voices.

When he had just about finished the bacon, a little drop of oil managed to pop out of the pan and burn Kai's finger. He flinched, sucking on his knuckle with a frown and turning off the burner. He dumped the final pieces of bacon onto a paper towel and slowly they all began to separate things out onto plates. Hitomi slid the scones into the oven. Jaemin set about cleaning the counter while Sakura piled the toast onto a platter, with their elbows only a few inches apart in the small kitchen.

Soobin noticed Kai's pout, and ducked between Johnny and Hitomi. "Hey, kiddo." He pulled him off to the side so they weren't in the way. "You okay?"

"What?" Kai tilted his head, then realized he still had his finger in his mouth. "Oh! Yeah. I'm fine." He smiled down at his TA.

Soobin grinned. "Good. Don't want any of you guys to get hurt on my watch!" He gave Kai a light pinch on the cheek and bustled back out into the dining room to right a chair someone had accidentally knocked onto its side. As always, his touch burned. It felt good.

Kai paused on his way to the dining room to look out a window. It was snowing, just a little bit. Enough to slowly begin obscuring the ground and to lighten the air. For a second, he leaned his forehead against the cold glass and sighed, fogging up the area around his mouth and nose. He pushed away, then, being sensitive to the cold, and headed to the table with everyone else as they each began to pick and choose what they wanted for breakfast. Yeonjun and Taehyun joined them—and Soobin informed the two men that they would be doing the dishes because they didn't help cook.

Kai looked around at the people around him and smiled to himself.

"So, Slumber party is basically a great example of this thing called hegemony." Soobin gesticulated, as he spoke. "Which is some fancy-ass word that technically means 'leadership,' but in anthropological contexts it can refer to things that have been painted in what may or may not be an incorrect light so it seems nicer than it is. You know," He leaned back where he sat in an armchair beside the fireplace. "That whole 'winners write the history books' kind of thing."

He paused, licking his lips. Rummaged around in his pocket and pulled out a bag of skittles which he began to eat while he spoke. "Basically, in foreign school, Slumber party is taught as 'the pilgrims and the Indians had a big party and ate food,' but really it's more like 'the Europeans came over and killed a bunch of Native Americans and gave them diseases and took their food.'" He smirked. "That's US history, though. Always twisted in favor of patriotism." He shook his head and sank deeper into the chair. He looked content and warm, and Kai couldn't help but focus on the way his eyes glinted copper in the firelight.

"We Americans are rather racist, hm?" Johnny, standing by the back door, looking a bit downcast.

Sakura leaned forward. She rested her elbows on her knees. "Yeah, So are Japanese." She tilted her head, so her curls shifted over her shoulder. "And many other people. It is a problem that should be fixed, but not just for Americans, though they take the cake."

"You're damn right." Soobin nodded in her direction. "And it's a crying shame."

From the couch, Kai watched the way Soobin shifted in his armchair. He sighed, and noticed a slight burnt smell. Frowned. Opened his mouth to say, "TA Choi—Uh. Soobin." He worried at his lip with his front teeth. "How long is the turkey supposed to cook for?" He didn't necessarily mean to stop the conversation—in fact he had found it pretty engaging—but he figured Soobin might prefer the food not to be blackened.

Soobin swore and jumped to his feet. Johnny laughed at him, and Sakura stifled a giggle.

The poultry was rescued and set on the stovetop to cool, while Soobin transferred a pan of rolls into the oven. Most everything else had been finished already, leaving just that one batch and a couple dozen deviled eggs to be topped off. Soobin dragged Taehyun and Yeonjun into the kitchen and ordered them to set about filling the eggs.

When he returned, Hitomi leaned over the arm of her and Sakura's loveseat and whispered, "Are they...?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Are they what?" Soobin smirked.

"恋人ですか。 I mean... _together_?" She blushed.

Soobin burst out laughing, and even shielded his face from view with both hands as he slid down in his chair. He trailed off into giggles, pink-faced. "No, no, no!" He shook his head. "No, those are my brothers! _Brothers_! 兄貴と弟だよ！"

"Ah!" Hitomi covered her mouth in mortification. "Sorry, sorry!"

Shaking his head and still giggling, Soobin muttered, "Don't apologize. It's fine. It was funny!" He snorted.

Kai bit back a laugh as well. He had also thought Yeonjun and Taehyun were an item, despite them both being alphas. There was this tension between them he couldn’t really explain—but now that they were revealed to be siblings he could spot some similarities in their facial structure, despite them all being fairly different from each other. He ducked his head and rubbed the back of the neck and listened to Soobin and Sakura's laughter dissolved into low conversation as Johnny asked what Hitomi had asked.

Soobin explained that she had thought the two were lovers, and Johnny turned the color of a beet and half-laughed.

Kai dropped against the cushions, resting his head on the arm of the couch, watching Soobin continue to speak of whatever things that came up within their little group. Around three in the afternoon, with the fire low, Yeonjun strode into the room and announced that everything was officially done and ready to eat, so they all relocated to the dining table where each person piled his or her plate high with food—there were mashed potatoes and turkey, mushroom gravy, stuffing, rolls, baked tofu, deviled eggs, and even a pumpkin pie that Taehyun had made a store-run to get upon Soobin's insistence.

Kai took a little bit of everything. He wanted to try it all. And he found it all to be good. None of it too dry or too moist or too strong or under-seasoned.

Sitting in the warm house, with fellow students and Soobin and his brothers, the omega felt happier than he had in quite a while. It couldn't compare to a holiday at home with his family, but it was much better than his previous plans of living on cereal and pasta for the entire weekend, alone in his room with only the internet to keep him company. He giggled.

"This feels nice." He half-mumbled the words into his glass of water but Soobin clearly heard him, and shot him a broad grin with dimples and crow's feet. Kai blushed and looked away. He heard the alpha let out a low chuckle and felt himself heat up even more.

He focused on his food.

Later in the evening, Kai sat in the chair by the fire and curled his legs up beneath him like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible, with a mug of cocoa in hand, waiting for his phone to ring. (Beomgyu was meant to call in less than five minutes.) He shut his eyes and hummed into his mug. The soft heat warmed his hands and the steam curled up around his face.

The house was fairly silent but for muffled laughter from outside. Soobin and a few of the others were outside making a snowman in the sudden accumulation of snow. Sakura had gone upstairs to read and Yeonjun and Taehyun had retreated to the adults' bedroom as well.

Kai sipped at his hot chocolate. His phone buzzed, startling him as it vibrated against his leg, and he flipped it open.

"Hello." He smiled.

"Hey, Kai-ya!" Beomgyu sounded a little tipsy, but cheerful. "How are you?"

Kai huffed. "I'm good. Way better than I expected—I'm with some people, for the weekend, and it's fun." He burrowed deeper into the chair, trying not to think of the fact that Soobin had been sitting in it just hours earlier. His lavender musk scent still lingering behind. "And I'm well-fed, so don't worry."

"Well-fed? Always good. Who're you with, eh? I thought your friends all left for break?"

Kai shrugged, though Beomgyu couldn't see him. "TA has this little party thing for exchange students and kids who can't go home—I think a few other teachers do it too." He giggled. "We all made dinner together and now they're making a snowman."

"I'm glad you're having a good time. But man, goin' to a stranger's house, Kai-ya? You know, you shouldn't go to strangers' houses." Beomgyu laughed. Yeah, definitely not totally sober. "Could be a murderer in disguise."

Kai whines. "Hyung, he's not a stranger! And there are seven other people here! It's not dangerous, and it's a vacation home he rented or something, just for the occasion." He took a gulp of his cocoa and licked his lips. "I'm perfectly safe, I promise."

"Better be. If you get hurt, you tell that teacher of yours I'll kick his ass straight into next Tuesday."

Kai snorted, but continued to grin to himself. "I'll be sure to let him know."

Beomgyu made a soft noise of affirmation, and said nothing. They remained in relative silence for several drawn-out seconds. Enjoyed just the knowledge that if they needed to speak they could, but that it wasn't fully necessary. Kai curled himself tighter into the chair. The fire put off a gentle glow and heat and he felt sleepy and warm and pleased. After a while, he murmured, "I'm gonna hang up now, Beomgyu."

"You do that, Kai-ya." Beomgyu's voice was quiet. "Sleep well tonight, okay? Don't want my baby brother to be tired in the morning." He laughed.

Kai snorted. "You too. Bye."

"Buh-bye."

The line clicked. Kai snapped his phone shut and slid it into his pocket, eyes closed, breathing slowly. The world had gone a little fuzzy at the edges and he thought he might like to take a nap, but a bang disrupted his half-awake ruminations and he frowned as he straightened up and looked toward the stairs. Some muffled shouting and thuds sounded from above. He heard the patter of footsteps and Sakura ran into the living room with her book clutched to her chest and eyes wide. She hurried to the back door and threw it open to shout Soobin's name.

Kai could smell her fears and confusion. She looked like she’s about to either punch something in anger or cry.

Soobin was by her side in a moment, voice low. "What's wrong?"

"Your brothers!" She gestured widely just as something crashed, and she flinched. "Fighting!"

Soobin closed his eyes for half a moment, his scent turning sour. "Fuck." He stepped into the house, steering her toward where Kai sat—he would have sent her outside but she was barefoot in her pajamas. "Stay there." He was about to head to the stairs, then, but had no chance to make it there before footsteps thundered across the floor and Taehyun burst into the room with Yeonjun hot on his heels.

Yeonjun caught up fast and tackled his youngest brother to the ground with a grunt. Taehyun elbowed him and tried to dislodge him but Yeonjun held tight, pulling Taehyun into a headlock, growling fiercely.

"Hey!" Soobin moved closer—but hovered at least two feet away from them. "Knock it the fuck off!"

Yeonjun snarled.

Taehyun jammed an elbow into his oldest brother's chest and Yeonjun rolled off of him with an angry, wounded noise, but when Taehyun stood, Yeonjun whipped his hand out and snatched his ankle so he fell heavily to the ground. Taehyun twisted his wrist when he tried to catch himself and swore.

Both alphas ended up with their limbs tangled, locked together in a squirming struggle on the floor which neither seemed likely to win. Yeonjun bit Taehyun hard on the shoulder and Taehyun held back a shout and tried to knee his brother in the groin. (Unsuccessfully.)

Soobin, unable to stand by any longer, threw himself down into the fray, wrapping his arms around Yeonjun's waist from behind and snarling something into his ear. Yeonjun elbowed him off and turned on him.

Hesitant at first, but finding determination when Yeonjun pinned Soobin to the floor with a violent shove and raised his arm for a blow, Kai leapt forward. He knew that his TA wouldn’t use his full power on his own brother so he wrenched Yeonjun upright and away from Soobin, and kicked him in the back of the knees so he was forced to kneel with a thud, and then he pulled his arms tight behind his back. The man tried to shake him off but Kai held tight—he might be an omega but he had experience play-fighting and training with his alpha older brother and he had done his job well in teaching Kai to fight.

Kai wrestled the alpha to the ground so that his cheek pressed into the floor, and gave a sharp nod toward Soobin.

He bit out, "Find some rope."

Yeonjun continued to struggle under him, somewhat like an alligator that knew it was caught but would stop at nothing to break free. Nearby, Taehyun sat with his knees drawn up, his red eyes glowering darkly.

Soobin floundered, briefly, trying to find some kind of rope or string, but sudden realization lit in the alpha’s eyes and he tugged his belt off before dropping down beside Kai to fasten it tightly around Yeonjun's wrists—luckily it was the kind of belt pierced along its whole length so it could tighten as much as needed. The blond-haired alpha buckled it a little harshly and stood up. Kai rolled to his feet as well, rubbing his sore muscles.

Yeonjun managed to stand, though he swayed a little without the use of his arms, and glared at the both of them.

"Fuck you, asshole."

Soobin just raised his eyebrows, eyes gleaming bright red. Yeonjun shrunk under his stare. "Really, Jun? Because I think that might be a better description of you than me or him." His expression darkened and now Kai understand why he presented as an alpha. Soobin was _terrifying_ when he’s mad. "I have been trying my best to give these kids a good experience, and you two fucktrucks decided to try and beat the living shit out of each other? Thanks. I appreciate you frightening a twenty year old Japanese girl out of her wits. Real classy."

The apha shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning back on his heels.

"If you broke anything you two get to pay me back for the cost of this entire rental." He smirked dangerously. "It's a few thousand bucks, by the way."

And then Soobin left the room.

Went upstairs, presumably to assess the damage, or to get a breather, or something. Kai honestly couldn't be sure. Kai ignored the alphas' presence, and went over to Sakura, who looked shaken but not hurt.

Both flinched when they heard a door slam upstairs, and then a string of expletives, as Soobin shouted at himself or the world in general. The beta took Kai's hand and led him to the front door, where their shoes sat along the step, and smiled at him. She took his signal. They both pulled on shoes and jackets and went outside, crunching their way around the house to the back.

The others stood quiet and huddled a ways from the back door. Obviously, they had seen what had transpired, after Sakura had called Soobin inside.

The beta went to Hitomi and leaned on her shoulder.

Kai shuffled around in the snow.

The snowman's arm fell off.

Soobin shoved all of his brothers' things into the white Palisade parked out front, scowling fiercely the entire time. The black-haired alpha made two trips, and when the last bag sat in the trunk, he slammed the lid shut hard enough to make the car squeak on its tires. He dragged Yeonjun and Taehyun out, shoving them with little tenderness to the car, and then went back inside the house and slammed the door shut with a rattle.

Inside, Kai and everyone else sat near the fireplace, quiet and nervous.

Soobin leaned back against the door. He covered his face with his hands as he heaved a great sigh, and pushed himself away from the wood. "Kids," he said, softly. "You can do whatever you want. I'm going to make some cookies." The alpha looked... guilty. Regretful. Mouth turned tightly down, eyes lowered, posture slumping and it didn’t sit well with the omega in him. He shrugged, and disappeared into the kitchen.

Johnny chewed on his lip before heaving himself off of the couch and heading upstairs. Hitomi followed, as did both Jaemin and Jeno. Sakura lingered in front of the fire, and Kai sat in the armchair. Eventually, Sakura stood, and she too went upstairs. Kai did not. He pulled himself to his feet and went in the opposite direction, toward the sounds of clattering dishes. The omega paused in the doorway.

Soobin stood at the counter, elbow-deep in cookie dough, with a bag of chocolate chips nearby. Rather than use a beater or even a spatula, he kneaded the dough with his bare hands, taking out his emotions on it. The alpha took a break for half a moment to grab a handful of chocolate chips, but rather than pour them into the bowl like Kai expected he just shoved them into his mouth. Kai cleared his throat quietly, and Soobin flinched. He tensed and turned, his eyes braling red for a moment, but relaxed when he saw who it was.

"Oh. Hey, kiddo." The alpha shot Kai a half-hearted smile. "Somethin' the matter?" He turned back to his big mixing bowl of cookie dough and sized it up, as if he were considering eating the entire thing without cooking it.

Kai shook his head. "I'm fine. I just... Can I help?" He scratched at the back of his neck, nibbling on the edge of his thumbnail and the way his smell began to turn sour must had given away the nervousness he felt inside his belly.

Soobin looked up at him. His eyebrows pulled together for a brief second but then his face cleared and he even smiled a little bit, nodding, the putrid smell of his anger lessening a little and it made the omega happy. "Sure thing." He met Kai's eyes. "Wash your hands and then you can grease the baking sheet."

"O-Okay."

Kai scrubbed his hands within an inch of their lives, and dried them on the kitchen towel. He cast around for the sheet and found it on the counter beside the stove. Rummaged in the fridge for butter—labeled "Soob" with a little pink star-shaped sticky note—and set to work rubbing it all over the baking sheet. He heard Soobin humming to himself and glanced over to see him forming a little ball of dough, studded with chocolate, between his hands.

Together, they lined up a dozen blobs of cookie dough on the sheet, while the oven preheated.

When Soobin slid the pan of cookies into the oven a burst of heat curled out against them, and Kai stepped away. It was hot enough to be unpleasant, at too close a range, but the kitchen itself slowly begun to grow to a comfortable warmth. He leaned against the counter, and Soobin turned away to rummage through the fridge, mumbling to himself about something to drink. The alpha made a triumphant noise in the back of his throat and pulled a jug of chocolate milk out of the fridge—it too had his last name scrawled across the side, in sharpie.

He unscrewed the top and snatched a clean cup from the dish drainer beside the sink, filling it to the brim before putting the jug back in the refrigerator. Kai watched him throw back about half the glass in one go and laughed. Soobin smirked.

Kai licked his lips.

Soobin tilted his head, expression turning thoughtful.

"Do you wear lip gloss?"

"Wh—" Kai gaped, forehead crinkling. " _What_?"

The alpha raised his hands up in front of him. "Just—Sorry! You just have a _really_ pink mouth so I thought maybe you wore... Never mind... Sorry. _Wow_." He looked away, pushing his fingers through his hair, ears red.

The omega turned red himself. "I—I don't wear makeup." He trained his gaze on the tiles under his bare feet, catching his lip between his teeth. "Um." What was a person meant to say to that? What was the proper response? He had no clue. He looked up, with an earnest look. "Not that there's anything wrong with wearing makeup! I just don't... is all..."

Soobin broke into a laugh, grinning broadly. "It was just a dumb question, Kai, you don't have to uh... defend yourself for not wearing makeup." He sipped at his milk. "Sorry, though. For real. That was kind of inappropriate of me to ask."

"Oh," Kai shook his head. "I don't really mind too much." He flipped his bangs out of his face, definitely still blushing, and smiled. "I was just kind of... surprised?" He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans and leaned on one foot, hooking his toes behind his ankle. He bit his lip again and giggled a little.

Soobin nodded. "Thank you for not thinking I'm a creep." He winked and drank the rest of his milk. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but frowned. Finally opened his mouth again. "And thanks for cheering me up." He gave Kai a small, sincere little smile—just a bit sad and he smiled back. “My brothers can be quite handful sometimes, but they're not always that bad. Being raised in a family of all alphas tend to do that to you.”

Kai shrugged. "I didn't do anything." He couldn't help but continue to smile, and glanced back down at the floor.

"Nonsense." Soobin came closer. "You did wonders just by standing around and greasing some old cookie sheet. And before that, if you wouldn't have taken my brother out I'd probably be sporting a broken arms from punching the daylight out of them. You're great." He beamed up at Kai, clasping his shoulder. "I'm glad you're here."

His hand was warm through Kai's shirt and he smelled so good he had to hold back a purr.

Kai wanted the alpha to kiss him so badly.

The timer went off and Soobin drew away to check the cookies.

Kai closed his eyes with a sigh.

The rest of the weekend proved entirely uneventful, but pleasant. Soobin separated the cookies—two dozen—out into little bags so they each got four, and all was forgotten when on the ride back to campus Soobin put in Michal Bublé's Christmas album and everyone just sang along to what words they knew. Soobin himself could flawlessly sing each and every song. Kai knew a few, Sakura and Johnny knew about as much as him, and the other three remained mostly lost.

The omega found himself a bit disappointed to leave them all, but he gathered his things into his arms and gave everyone a little wave as he backed away from the minivan. He turned and walked toward the complex. A layer of frost crunched under his shoes as he made his way to his building, and he fumbled with the lock.

Once he made it into his room he dropped his things on his desk and collapsed into bed. The room stood empty and cold, and he hadn't bothered to turn the light on so it was also dark, lit only by the orange glow of streetlamps streaming through the blinds. Hyunjin would be back the next morning—or so he'd told Kai. The omega reveled in the chance to be completely alone again. He liked people, but he was tired and he wanted privacy. There was a big difference between being around people, and not having a space of one's own. (Even the dorm room didn't really count as a space of his own, when Hyunjin was there.)

Kai let out a deep breath, glad to relax.

He found himself thinking back to the moment in the kitchen. The firmness of Soobin's grip on his shoulder had been... nice. Surprisingly so. A little electrifying, too. But Kai usually felt pretty charged around the alpha anyway. Something about the color of his eyes and the cadence of his voice and the curve of his lips always set his heart rate on edge. Like he might explode at any second.

He liked the way Soobin, despite calling him "kiddo," treated him like an adult instead of an overgrown child and more, an equal rather then their alpha-omega status. He liked his joking demeanor and liked how concerned he could be with his students—how much he genuinely cared about what few people took his class.

The omega liked how, if someone needed help, Soobin would go over to them and speak gently and explain everything as clearly as possible. He liked how Soobin sometimes drew on the whiteboard to help explain prompts, or to illustrate a point he wanted to make. He liked how Soobin spoke just loud enough to be clear without using his status as an alpha. He liked the gestures Soobin made when he got excited—waving his arms around and bouncing. Liked how, when Soobin got an idea, he snapped his fingers. Liked how he stashed chocolate in his pockets, and how once when one of his students was sad he had given her an entire king-size Hershey bar.

He liked everything about Soobin, really.

From his slight lisp to how he looked in khaki pants to the shape of his eyes.

Kai sighed.

He needed to find himself an outlet or a distraction—something that wouldn't remind him of Choi Soobin in any way, shape or form. Like his calculus textbook, or a documentary. Instead of finding either of those, he continued to lay on his stomach with his face buried in his pillow, resolutely avoiding all thoughts of his TA. He didn't do a very good job. He found himself unable to avoid images of Soobin and himself talking together in a little coffee shop, or watching a movie, or just sitting somewhere with their shoulders brushing, maybe kissing. Definitely kissing. That idea filled his head up like a balloon. Maybe he was just deprived, but he _really_ wanted to kiss the alpha or let the alpha kiss him, he didn’t really care.

Beomgyu would have told him, "You just need to get laid! Hook up with some nerdy friend of yours!"

But Kai knew that wasn't quite it. This was different. He would never say it out loud, but he had a full-blown crush. He _like_ -liked Soobin. How embarrassing. Beomgyu would tease him if he found out that his omega little brother finally had a crush. (He could _never_ find out.)

Kai rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling in the dark.

Class continued as normal through the next weeks.

On the last Thursday of his creative writing class, Kai left the room humming to himself. Even though he had to go to his math class next, he was still in a good mood. For finals, Soobin had instructed the class to write a simple poem. Subject: anything. Type: any. Length: any length as long as it was longer than a haiku and shorter than two pages. Due the next Friday (finals dates were skewed, and their class met at 8 am on the Friday before break for their "test") to be read in front of the class. Kai had an idea of what he wanted to write about—a very dorky idea, and probably a very terrible, stupid idea. But an idea nonetheless.

When he got back to his dorm room he said hi to Hyunjin and pulled his notebook and a pen out of his bag, immediately sitting down on his bed and crossing his legs as he leaned against the wall. The omega stared at his paper for about twenty minutes, twirling his pen, before tossing his notebook down empty and grabbing his laptop. He booted it up and pulled up Google. Put in "poetry forms" and clicked the first link he saw. He found himself at a list of different type of poems.

He browsed, and clicked a few links. He lingered over the page for sonnets, but decided he'd rather use something less regulated—he like sonnets, sure, but he didn't feel like figuring out iambic pentameter and then shoving everything into a set number of lines with a rhyme scheme. So he exited that page. Found himself on a page about epistles. He skimmed it. Letter-like, non-rigid. He bit his lip. Then set his laptop aside and took up his pen once more.

He scrapped the first poem he managed to get down. Too... stilted. Too strange. Too _obvious_. He managed half of another try—"To you who in his hand/Holds my thoughts/In eddies of smoke" it started out—and then he ripped the page from his notebook and crumpled it up before throwing it at the small trash can beside his desk. He settled down on his stomach, resting his forehead against the paper as he thought. Perhaps he was trying to make it _too much_ like a letter. He groaned.

Hyunjin glanced over at him, moderately concerned. "Need help?"

"No," Kai whined, rolling onto his back, lifting his notebook into the air and staring at it. "Just trying to write a poem for my creative writing final." He huffed and sat up.

The Beta frowned. "Gross."

With a quiet laugh, Kai settled his notebook on his lap and tapped his pen against his mouth.

He scribbled down a few words. Possible endings, a couplet that might be nice. Sighed and chewed on his thumbnail. "In the confines..." He shook his head and crossed out several lines he'd managed to write. He pulled his laptop close again to look up several more types of poem. He kind of wanted to try something like a terza rima, but he was much too tired and distracted to even bother with that kind of structure. Instead, he scratched out his own little pattern: two rhyming lines split by a non-rhyming six-syllable phrase of some kind, repeated several times.

With these thoughts in mind, he slowly began to transcribe a little poem onto his paper.

He finished in something like thirty minutes—not bad—and went over it. Here and there he tweaked phrases and meter, until he was as satisfied as he could make himself be. He re-wrote the entire thing in neater handwriting on a clean sheet of paper, carefully tore that sheet from his notebook, and put everything into his backpack.

He and Hyunjin went to the dining hall together for dinner. There wasn't much in the way of quality that night, but he contented himself with making a sad, wilted salad, and snatching a couple of slices of pizza and a hamburger on his way to the seating area.

Kai didn't speak much, while they ate. Hyunjin prattled on about some TV show he'd been watching recently, and told jokes, and Kai listened and nodded when he needed to but he wasn't in the mood to actually speak much. He wanted to finish eating, check his mail, and go to bed. So he did—told Hyunjin he was heading back, and Hyunjin waved at him with a grin.

He found nothing in his mail box. Unsurprising. Walked back to his dorm room through the cold air and the freezing drizzle. Once inside their room, Kai stripped and tugged on his pajama pants and turned off the lights and bundled himself into his bed. His mind would not stop racing. He thought of the poem in his bag. He thought of the single cookie he had left from Slumber party. He thought of Soobin's warm eyes and warm hands and warm smile.

Wrapped tightly in his ratty old comforter, Kai fell asleep with the picture of Soobin's grin stuck in the edges of his head.

Kai felt a little like he might throw up, as he sat down in his seat (as always) five minutes before class started. When Soobin waved at him, he smiled. But it felt like a stunted smile. Soobin didn't seem to suspect anything was wrong, though, so he must have been better at pretending than he thought.

He fidgeted.

When the class filled, Soobin turned around—wearing a maroon sweater, its front emblazoned with a shark wrapped in Christmas lights—and clapped his hands together. "Alright, class!" He raised his eyebrows. "Who's ready for winter break?!"

The class cheered.

He beamed. "Now, who's ready to read their poems in front of everyone?"

A few groans, and Soobin laughed. He rubbed his hands together. "Excellent." As he sat at the desk up front, he continued, "Once you read your poems you are free to go, if you so desire! And then you get a whole three weeks to fuck around at home!" He winked. "So who's first?"

Normally, Kai would volunteer, but he felt a little sick to his stomach at the thought of reading this particular poem in front of anybody, let alone ten college students and his TA. He ducked his head and avoided Soobin's eyes. He knew that probably seemed suspicious but he didn't care. He let Soobin use the name cards to call out people at random, and focused on relaxing—on slowing his breathing and heart rate—instead. He allowed himself to drift. Paid enough attention to get the general idea of what the others' poetry was about, and to keep track of how many had gone.

Soobin called his name sixth.

Kai stood, with his paper in front of him.

Opened his mouth.

And abruptly sat down. "I'm sorry, TA Choi." He kept his eyes fixed on his desk. "I can't..." He ran one hand through his hair with a harsh breath, his entire body broke into a tremble. "Sorry."

"Hey, hey." Soobin's voice was soft and gentle like a butter. His omega seemed to like it as much. "It's fine, kiddo. You're fine. Just stay after class, okay? So you don't have to read in front of everyone."

Kai nodded, swallowing back his embarrassment and anger. (Anger at himself. He hadn't even made it thirty seconds before he chickened out.)

The rest of the poems went mostly without a hitch. Although one girl, reading about her dead best friend, started crying before she could finish. But she powered through her tears and Soobin let her leave right away.

Finally, the class emptied.

The alpha cleared his throat. "Normally, I wouldn't force you to read it, but I gotta make sure you're not a threat to society, you know?" He sounded like he was smiling. "Can't have you dropping a murder confession on my desk and then running away!" His shoes came into Kai's line of sight.

Kai finally looked up.

Soobin grinned down at him, amused but clearly a little concerned, with his hands planted on his hips. His voice gentled, and he said, "Really, though, kiddo. I can't give you special treatment. Everyone else read their poem, and you've never had trouble before so I know it's not a debilitating shyness sorta thing." He sat on the edge of Kai's desk. "Gotta have you read it." He gave Kai an expectant raise of his eyebrows.

"I know." Kai scrubbed his palms over his face. "I'm just nervous, is all."

Soobin nodded. "Stage fright's a bitch." He smirked, and stood back up. "Start with the title."

Kai closed his eyes and breathed deeply to calm himself. "The title." He avoided Soobin's eyes. "The title is _... 'Ode to the One I Love_.'" He pushed his hair out of his face. Cleared his throat. "It goes—uh... 'My love is neither tall nor slender,'" He paused, closing his eyes. Swallowed down his nerves. "Let me start again."

Soobin just put his hand on Kai's shoulder with an encouraging smile.

Kai felt himself grow calmer.

He recited his poem.

_My love is neither tall nor slender  
Nor smooth nor soft, nor kind  
Laughing too loud and far too tender  
They stomp and whine and snort_

_My love, when angry, storms around  
Bright and quick as lightning  
Shouts with fierce and violent sound  
To break open my mind_

_My love smiles as crooked as wire  
That when it cracks, cracks wide  
Teeth hide behind the lyre  
That sets their lips to bend_

_My love teases and chides and calls me out  
If ever I misuse  
Pieces of language they have reason to doubt  
Mean anything at all_

_My love is, despite all this  
Understanding and kind  
Takes me aside when I am amiss  
Anchors me to ground_

_My love's eyes are glasses of mead  
Shining gold in the light  
Their figure, fair, and all I need  
Looks fine to me, always_

_My love knows not I love  
But love I surely do  
And smiling from above  
I show my love to you_

The omega handed his paper to Soobin, who took it without a word. Soobin moved toward his own desk. His messenger bag hung from the back of the chair. Kai stood and hovered a little, tugging his backpack on, before moving closer to Soobin. "Um—TA Choi—I mean Soobin." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, kiddo?" Soobin tilted his head as he glanced up, with a slight quirk to his mouth.

"Thanks, for... not making me read that in front of the class." Kai shrugged.

"It's fine." Soobin's smile widened.

Kai steeled himself. The omega leaned down and pressed his lips quick to Soobin's. Soobin's breath hitched, and Kai realized what he'd done. He backed away, raising his hands, and muttered, "Shit, sorry. Sorry, I—" He tripped over a chair. "I'm sorry." He hauled himself to his feet, wide-eyed and bolted out of the classroom. He bumped a desk, and hit his shoulder against the doorframe in his haste to leave.

Soobin swore and tugged the strap of his bag around his neck, running after him. He just caught sight of Kai turning the corner and hurried after, shouting for him to wait. Of course, Kai didn't listen and yet again Soobin found himself with only the barest of ideas where the boy had gone. He reached a hallway with no clues as to which direction Kai had bolted. He closed his eyes, spun around, and pointed.

Left it was.

The apha ran down the hallway and saw Kai getting into an elevator. Cursed again and sprinted to the closing doors. He slid into the narrow mirror-paneled box just a split second before the doors shut with a hiss, and found himself panting and staring at Kai whose eyes were wide and he backed against the railing.

Kai’s entire body swayed forward at the sight of the alpha coming to a wavering halt in front of him – sweaty, wide-eyed, breathing heavily from his sprint across campus – and his scent was so intense, it slammed into the omega with the force of an angry battering ram. "I'm sorry." His forehead creased, and he looked down at his shoes as tears brimmed in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—I'm… I know it's inappropriate and I know it was unfair of me to... do that." He fidgeted, chewing at the corner of his lip. "I'll make sure I never take any of your classes or anything—"

"Kai."

The omega’s gaze snapped to Soobin. He stood much closer than he had a moment before.

"Shut up."

Soobin reached up to grab Kai's face and pulled him close so their mouths could meet. Kai held his breath, and when Soobin pulled back just enough to meet his eyes he let it out in a slow gust. Soobin smiled at him expectantly. Kai had no idea what to do. He just stared at his TA. Soobin raised an eyebrow. Tilted his head.

"Help me out here, kiddo." Soobin's hands moved, and he threaded his fingers through Kai's fluffy hair. He almost keened at the feeling of fingers carding through his thick locks. His body was craving contact, any kind of touch, and he couldn’t even be embarrassed about the mindless way he was arching into Soobin’s soothing strokes. "Gonna leave me hangin'?"

Kai decided then that there were some risks that must be taken, damn the consequences.

In one move that he hoped was rather more alluring than clumsy, he left a peck across the those tantalizing lips again, and he did not miss the small upwards tilt on Soobin's lips before the alpha's big, warm hands were planted on his hipbones and he was shoved rather violently to the elevator wall, the weight of Soobin keeping him there and safe.

Soobin joined their forehead together, breathing hard. “Jesus Christ, you’re going to be the death of me.”

The omega hadn't been aware of the pitiful whine trapped in his throat until he opened his mouth to reply and his words rumbled out, “I-I’m sorry.”

_“Fuck,”_ Soobin growled. “Just fucking kiss me already, Huening Kai.”

Kai was speechless for a minute before he finally seemed to find his agency, and as the elevator dinged to signal they had reached the correct floor, he surged forward and kissed Soobin, for real this time, bringing his hands up to cradle the back of his head. Soobin moved his arms around his waist and grinned against his lips. When no one left the elevator, the doors slid shut again, but it didn't move. Soobin laughed quietly, not bothering to pull away, and trailed his hand around from the back of Kai's neck down his chest. He kissed his jaw, bathing him with his scent. Kai couldn't help but huff out a small, relieved laugh as well.

He kissed Soobin again.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are super appreciated 🖤


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